Episode #25: You Are Not Behind. You Are Just Getting Started: A Financial Fresh Start After Divorce
Divorce has a way of making women feel like they have fallen behind, financially, personally, and in ways that are difficult to put into words. The assets you built together are now divided. The income you relied on has changed. And the financial future you imagined looks completely different from the one you are now facing.
But here is what Canadian personal finance expert and bestselling author Lesley-Anne Scorgie wants every woman to understand: feeling behind is not the same as being behind. And starting over is not failure, it is a new starting line.
In a recent episode of The Divorce Circle, host Sabeena Bubber sat down with Lesley-Anne, founder of MeVest, a platform dedicated to helping people take control of their money and build genuine financial confidence. Lesley-Anne is also the bestselling author of Well-Heeled: The Smart Girl's Guide to Getting Rich and Rich by Thirty, and her work has been featured on Global News, CTV, Breakfast Television, and The Globe and Mail.
The conversation was candid, practical, and deeply empowering. Here are the key insights and what they mean for your financial and homeownership future.
Watch the full episode here: You Are Not Behind Financial Fresh Start After Divorce
Why Women Feel Financially Behind After Divorce and Why That Feeling Is Valid
Lesley-Anne does not dismiss the feeling of being behind. She acknowledges it directly: it is, in many cases, a reality. Women statistically earn less over their lifetimes, live significantly longer (Lesley-Anne's own grandmothers both lived past 100), and post-divorce are typically working with half or less than half of the assets they previously had.
Add to that the reality that many women were not in the financial driver's seat during the marriage. They may not have been involved in investment decisions, mortgage renewals, or retirement planning. Suddenly being responsible for all of it, alone, is genuinely overwhelming.
But Lesley-Anne is equally clear on this: financial anxiety is normal, and leaning into the discomfort is the only way through it. Avoidance does not make the numbers better. Taking ownership does.
The First Step: Change Your Self-Talk
Before any spreadsheet, any budget, or any financial plan, Lesley-Anne addresses something more fundamental: the story you tell yourself about money.
Many women carry deeply ingrained beliefs often absorbed from childhood or reinforced by a controlling partner that they are "bad with money" or "not good at this." These beliefs are not just unhelpful. They are actively harmful, because they prevent action.
Lesley-Anne's prescription is simple and direct. Stop saying "I am bad with money." Replace it with:
“I am capable. I do need to learn more. I can learn more. I am interested in being better with money.”
This is not toxic positivity. It is a practical reframe that creates the mental space needed to actually start making changes.
Recalibrate Your Spending: Immediately!!
One of the most common and costly mistakes women make after divorce is failing to quickly adjust their spending to their new financial reality. The lifestyle that was sustainable on two incomes, or on a partner's income, is often not sustainable on one. And the longer the adjustment is delayed, the deeper the financial hole becomes.
Lesley-Anne's advice is clear: recalibrate immediately, not months or years later.
If you are feeling overwhelmed and do not know where to start, she recommends two practical first steps:
Take a Spending Pause. Stop spending for a few days, not forever, just long enough to become conscious of your habits and patterns. Awareness is the foundation of change.
Track Like a Detective. Spend 30 days tracking every dollar you spend. Not to judge yourself, but to see the full picture clearly. You cannot make a plan based on numbers you do not know.
The Color-Coding Strategy
Once you have tracked your spending, Lesley-Anne recommends a simple but powerful visual exercise: color-code every expense.
Green: Worth it. This expense aligns with your values and your goals.
Yellow: Neutral. You are not sure yet — worth revisiting.
Red: Regret. This spending does not serve you and is worth eliminating or reducing.
This exercise is not about shame. It is about clarity. When you can see your spending visually, patterns emerge that are impossible to ignore — and easy to act on.
Finance Friday: Building a Weekly Money Habit
One of the most practical tools Lesley-Anne shares is the concept of a dedicated weekly money check-in, what she calls Finance Friday.
The idea is simple: set aside a specific time each week (Friday works well because it creates a natural boundary before the weekend) to review your bank accounts, check your subscriptions, and plan your spending for the coming week. It does not need to take more than 15 to 20 minutes.
The power of this habit is not in any single session; it is in the consistency. Women who build a regular relationship with their finances stop being afraid of them. And when fear is removed, better decisions follow naturally.
Make Personal Finance Actually Personal
Lesley-Anne is direct about one of the biggest failures of the financial industry: the assumption that one system works for everyone. The rigid frameworks and spreadsheets that work beautifully for one person are completely useless for another.
Her advice is to remove the word "personal" from "personal finance" and actually make it personal. Build systems, automations, and visual tools that match your specific personality, your learning style, and your life. If you are a visual person, use color. If you are a list person, use lists. If you need accountability, hire a money coach.
Which brings her to perhaps the most important piece of advice in the entire conversation:
Do not do this alone.
Build Your Professional Team
Lesley-Anne is emphatic that financial recovery after divorce is not a solo project. The women who move forward fastest and most successfully are the ones who hire specialists and build a team around them.
That team might include:A financial planner to help map out your long-term retirement and investment strategy
A money coach or Certified Divorce Financial Analyst (CDFA) to help you understand the financial implications of your settlement
A mortgage broker to help you understand what you can qualify for, whether you are keeping the marital home, buying a new property, or rebuilding your credit after a difficult period
This last point is where your mortgage strategy becomes central to your financial fresh start. Whether you are navigating a buyout, qualifying for a mortgage on a single income, or exploring options like alternative lenders that look beyond traditional income criteria, having the right mortgage professional in your corner is not optional, it is essential.
A Note on Longevity and Retirement
One of the most sobering, and motivating threads in this conversation is the reality of how long women are living. With lifespans regularly extending into the 90s and beyond, the financial decisions you make in your 40s and 50s have consequences that stretch for decades.
Lesley-Anne also shares a striking statistic: when women are financially empowered and educated, their investment portfolios statistically outperform those of their male counterparts. The capacity is there. What is often missing is the confidence and the starting point.
That starting point is now.
Key Takeaways
Feeling behind is valid — but it is not permanent: Acknowledge the reality, then focus on what is next
Self-talk shapes financial behavior: Replace "I am bad with money" with "I am capable and learning"
Recalibrate spending immediately: Do not wait — adjust your lifestyle to your new income now
Track for 30 days: You cannot plan what you cannot see
Use the color-coding method: Green, yellow, red — make your spending visible
Establish Finance Friday: A weekly 15-minute check-in builds confidence over time
Build a professional team: Financial planner, money coach, and mortgage broker working together
Plan for longevity: Your money needs to last well past traditional retirement age
Ready to Take the Next Step?
Understanding your financial picture is the foundation. But your housing strategy, whether that means keeping your home, qualifying for a new mortgage, or rebuilding after a difficult period, is one of the most important financial decisions you will make in this chapter.
I work with clients at every stage of the divorce and separation process to help them understand their mortgage options, qualify on a single income, and build a plan that supports their long-term financial goals.
Connect with Sabeena Bubber at sabeenabubber.ca for a confidential, no-obligation conversation. And if you are looking for financial coaching and planning support, visit Lesley-Anne Scorgie at mevest.ca. Looking for more Divorce resources, check out our website at www.divorcecircle.ca